Welcome to BookView Interview, a conversation series where BookView talks to authors.

Recently, we interviewed author Michelle Dickey, a consultant, coach, trauma specialist, and author who helps survivors overcome narcissistic abuse through God’s wisdom. Michelle has just released her fourth book, Real Events of Narcissistic Abuse: Someone’s Survival Guide , that offers survivors of narcissism helpful guidance for self-protection, resolution, and complete healing (Read the review here.).

Michelle Dickey is a consultant, coach, trauma specialist, and author who helps survivors overcome narcissistic abuse through God’s wisdom. She is the author of three books, including Real Events of Narcissistic Abuse, How Narcissism is Bred, and One Rose-Tinted and One Clear Lens: How Narcissism is the Work of the Devil. She provides God’s spiritual truths on YouTube and Patreon, as well as on Quora.

What inspired you to write about your experiences and share them with others?

After discovering many others have suffered through extremely abusive situations like myself, I knew that my story needed to be put out there for others who need to know they are not alone. Additionally, my story offers others a survival guide with details about several abusive situations that I didn’t realize until later in life. These revelations helped me understand that we who fall victim to such abuse are often groomed early in life to not see it, so we tolerate it. Once we learn all the red flags of narcissistic abuse, we can avoid getting sucked into another abusive situation, which is primarily what I do to help other survivors overcome the trauma bonds and stay out of future toxic environments. My story is one of trials, tribulations, and triumph that will not only help others heal, but inspire them to keep going on their healing journey because there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Do you find writing therapeutic?

Absolutely. Writing down our experiences not only helps to vent, but to piece together more of the puzzle surrounding what happened throughout life so we remember them better going forward. Writing to share our experiences with others also provides an opportunity to further analyze the details so we can connect the dots to the bigger picture to help more of it make sense. Once things make better sense, we can then finally move on and live our best lives!

What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced as a writer?

The biggest challenge as a writer is the self-editing process. Even though I edit several times before submitting the work, small details still get overlooked. I look at it as a lesson to learn from going forward. For example, for my next book, we are going to take additional time in a distraction-free environment and pay closer attention to every small detail. I have learned that it works to read the writing back out loud to catch additional editing needs.

Are you a feeler or a thinker?

After all that I have endured, I am now a profound thinker. While I do still feel things, they don’t control me. We learn after healing from narcissistic abuse that one of our weaknesses that got us in so many situations was the fact that we used to make decisions based on our emotions, which is precisely what abusers look for in their prey. We learn quickly to put emotions aside and look through clear lenses to make logical, sound, and rational decisions based on facts. Although I have always been an analyzer, now as a behavioral analyst, I pay close attention to actions over words.

How did publishing your first book change your process of writing?

After publishing my first book, the lesson learned was how simple the process is! The only thing that changed was an increase in the inspiration to keep writing and as we do so, we will improve our writing with each new book. Like I say elsewhere, as a firm believer in the fact there is always room for improvement, we must keep practicing, honing our craft to become better while becoming the best version of who we are.

Which chapter in Real Events of Narcissistic Abuse: Someone’s Survival Guide is your favorite? Why?

Chapter 6, The Aftermath of Situation #9 is my favorite because it highlights all the crazy-making things the final abuser did with my electronic devices and how a team of tech experts and I went on a three-month investigative journey to figure out exactly how the ex-psychopath roommate was still tracking me after all the devices had been replaced. It also highlights how he put spyware on my mother’s phone as well. This chapter also offers great insight to anyone else who may be experiencing the same and right now, I am mentoring another survivor who is experiencing similar electronic quirks, per se, and he is utilizing the steps he learned about from reading my book. You can see how the book is not only faith-based self-help, but that it offers tips and steps to help other survivors solve some issues that an abuser leaves behind.

What do you hope readers will take away from this book?

As mentioned previously, the book is full of hope, inspiration, and encouragement to let survivors know that everything will eventually work out in their favor. Survivors and others will become better informed about abusive red flags and increase their level of awareness about narcissistic abuse, and how it manifests itself in many areas of life. Readers will take a lot of value from the book through the lessons I learned, while the information helps them connect dots in their lives and for those who are not aware they may be in an abusive situation, they will learn important tools to help them identify the red flags and start planning their escape.

How does your faith inform your writing?

As God tells us in scripture, through Him and Christ, all things are possible for our strength comes from them and not man. We walk by faith and not by sight, so all things are done in positivity with optimism and hope. Through faith, we continue to strive for improvement, not perfection, as we learned that we are all made in God’s perfect image, just the way He made us in heart. Through love and peace, we give back to our community in truth and light. We help others heal with God’s wisdom and share the mystery of the gospel, especially regarding the abuse described in scripture. Although the words narcissism and narcissistic are not explicitly mentioned in scripture, survivors of such abuse can connect the dots with how the abusers engage in the very wickedness God warns us about throughout the bible. The Holy Spirit is my guide with video topics and God uses His other chosen to inspire our encouraging messages with hope, for He tells us He has plans for us. Plans to prosper us and not harm us. Through faith we keep moving forward in our purpose to help others draw closer to God and heal from anything the enemy tried to do to them. We turn our pain into purpose!

What’s next for you?

Aside from completing my doctoral journey, we are working on a new book, jotting down ideas, and creating somewhat of an outline. It is going to be full of additional inspiration, encouragement, and motivation to help uplift anyone who may be experiencing hard times. As we are told by God, this too shall pass. All storms come with lessons to learn and grow from. As I say often, we learn as we grow, and we grow as we learn! It’s my favorite motto. There is so much more to learn from scripture and life that we want to share with others to educate them about things that they may not have been taught, such as the fact that they already have it in them to fulfill their dreams. The theme of the book is centered around the fact that we learn later on, after we heal, that we have been survivors and strong the whole time. The God spirit has always been inside us; we just had to figure out how to tap into it and be reborn.

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